![]() It’s trusting that person with the fragile, messy, untamed parts of you – the parts that are often beautiful, sometimes baffling, and always okay with the person who loves you. Part of intimacy is letting someone in closer than you let the rest of the world. The problem with protecting yourself too much is that it can invite the very rejection you’re trying to protect against. Vulnerability – being open to another – is beautiful and it’s the essence of successful, healthy relationships. In others, it can cause them to hold back, to lessen their vulnerability to possible heartache. In some people, it might stoke the need for constant reassurance. Make sure your partner has the opportunity to love you spontaneously, without prompting – it’s lovely for them and even better for you.Īnxiety can effect relationships in different ways. ![]() Neediness is the enemy of desire and over time can smother the spark. Too much though and it could be felt as neediness. It’s completely okay and very normal to ask your partner for reassurance. When it’s left unchecked, it can make you doubt the things that don’t deserve to be doubted – such as your relationship. Asking for reassurance is absolutely okay – but just not too much.Īnxiety has a way of creeping into everything.Keeping things too much to yourself has a way of widening the distance between two people. ![]() You will also have an enormous capacity to think of other people – anxious people do – but make sure that you let you partner in on the thoughts that arrest you. You will often be thinking about what you need to do to feel safe, what feels bad for you and what could go wrong. Let your partner in on what you’re thinking.Īnxious thoughts are supremely personal, but let your partner in on them.There’s nothing more healing than the warmth of the person you love. Be deliberate in being the rock sometimes too. The tendency can be for partners of anxious people to dismiss their own worries, but this might mean that they do themselves out of the opportunity to feel nurtured and supported by you – which would be a huge loss for both of you. People with anxiety have so much strength – it’s impossible to live with anxiety without it – so make sure your partner knows that it doesn’t matter how big or small their struggles are, you can be the supportive one sometimes too. Your partner might feel reluctant to ‘burden’ you with worries, particularly if those worries don’t seem as big as the ones you’re struggling with. Let your partner see you as a support too.Whenever you can, heap your partner with attention, gratitude, affection, touch – lots of touch – and conversation around him or her. This is completely okay – there is plenty of good that comes with loving you to make up for this – but it may mean that you have to keep making sure those resources are topped up. Sometimes though, anxiety can drain those resources from the relationship just as quickly as you invest them. You’re probably super sensitive to the needs of others and give openly and abundantly to your relationship. All relationships struggle sometimes and when anxiety is at play, the struggles can be quite specific – very normal, and specific.Īnxiety can work in curious ways, and it will impact different relationships differently, so not all of the following will be relevant for every relationship. Here are some ways to strengthen your relationship and protect it from the impact of anxiety: If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety, there are plenty of things about you that would make loving you easy. The problem is that anxiety can sometimes just as quickly erode them. People with anxiety often have these by the truckload and will give them generously to the relationship. All relationships require trust, tenderness, patience and vulnerability. Even when they’re completely right, anxiety can steal the magic and loosen the connection between two people who belong together. When they’re right, they can feel like magic. ![]() They can inflame our struggles or soothe them. (2017).Intimate relationships are a mirror, reflecting the best and the worst of all of us. Prevalence of healthy sleep duration among adults - United States, 2014. ![]()
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